The Consequences of being a Party Girl

I have had such a fun bank holiday weekend but I am well and truly feeling the effects of it today.

Since the road to recovery of my broken heart began I have been enjoying going out and getting drunk with my girls a lot more, but it's not just the physical effects that are catching up on me... The hangovers, the bloating, sickness, and break outs, it's also been an eye opener. 

This weekend I was out with my guy and girl friends... (Lobster who was in attendance and we did a fabulous job of ignoring each other, although there were a few awkward moments when we caught eye contact. I had a fab night singing and dancing while he was left looking awkward standing on his own on many occasions throughout the night. HA) 

Anyhow, when it came to the end of the night one of the guys who has a girlfriend and a new born baby begins flirting of sorts with a friend of a friend. 

She's single and fully allowed to choose who she sleeps with. But what annoyed me is the lengths this guy was going to to cover his lieing cheating arse. 

Telling her a fake name, whilst telling me to 'shut up' and basically getting his story straight with me that if anyone asks me I should say that he was never at the the afterparty we went back to... Almost like blackmail as I know he's not a very nice person and he would probably turn nasty if I ever breathed a word. 

Although it's totally wrong, it's not my business to say anything. I don't know the girlfriend in question well enough to get involved, and she probably wouldn't believe me anyway. If she was one of my good friends I wouldn't hesitate to expose him. 

The guys at the after party were actually scared of me calling me a 'Dangerous Girl' as 'I know too much'. 

The fact is, I am a nice girl, a real girls girl and I get on with most people, boys and girls. I'm friends with a lot of the boys but I've never slept with any of them (apart from the Lobster and we all know how that turned out). 

What makes it worse, is this guy is all over social media stating how much he loves his girlfriend and posting adorable photos of his baby, which I don't doubt for a second so why the hell cheat?! 

So as much as I love being a party girl, it has done very little to restore my faith in men... In fact I think I have completely lost it.

However, it is a lesson noted for when I do settle down. 

Mid 20's Life Crisis

I am the happiest I have been in a long time, I have been working on piecing myself back together and believe that positive thinking leads to a more positive person. 

To help me get through this was my friends. I honestly don't know what I would have done without such a great supportive network around me... My Army I call them. 

The funny thing is, throughout the last year we have all had or currently experiencing what seems to be a mid-20s life crisis. 

The first to kick it off was one of my very best friends when she told me she no longer wanted to be with her boyfriend of 6 years whom she shared a mortgage and children with. It was a total shocker, for me that was the dream, the house the kids etc. But she had just sadly fallen out of love with him. 

Secondly, there was my friend who had been in a simar situation to myself with the Lobster. She escaped to Ibiza one summer where she met her boyfriend, who then took her back to Ibiza five years later to propose... Her first words were 'Do I have to wear it (the ring) everyday?' Of course she said yes, but a few months down the line she too had also called it off. 

Thirdly, it's my old school friend who has been with her boyfriend for a few years, this year they were meant to be saving for a mortgage but she is having serious second thoughts and is currently in limbo with ending it all. (Update... I think she has bit the bullet today). 

Now don't get me wrong or think of me selfish when I say I am loving spending more time with these ladies now they're single. The last few weeks we have had so much fun together. 

It is ironic, when there were times only a short while ago that I desperately envied what they had. These boyfriends were 'good' boyfriends, they were decent boys who treated them well, but it appears the grass is not always greener on the other side and I am glad that we can now encounter and go through these single girl life trials and tribulations together. 

I have heard and seen far too many horror stories, of couples who settled together... They reach around 30 and realise it's not what they want. Life is far too short, that's why for now I am happy to be livin' it up with my single girls having as much fun as we can. 

Who gives a stuff what society thinks? Xoxo 

Im'a do me.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently and have given up on the dating scene for a while (whilst I 'find myself' *cringe*). 

Don't get me wrong... I've had offers but right now, and I don't mean to be dramatic when I say this but I'm working on piecing back together my little broken shattered heart.

 Plus I've been having so much fun with my friends, and working out (bootcamp, bike rides, and must recommend the nike training app) which I also find is a good to banish the blues.

 Nor do I actually fancy or like anyone, I'm sure I am Asexual. And being happily single has wayyy too many benefits. I'm far from lonely too... I fight to get alone time as it is. There's no room for a boyfriend or regular dater. 

However, it could also be due to the fact I have lost all faith in men. I even find bad traits and faults in the 'good ones'. 

I've decided I'm going to be totally selfish and do all the things I want to do this year. 

For any male that wins me over and I let you in then you don't know how lucky you are. Challenge yourself. ;) 

I Am Officially 'Dating'

So off I went on my date last week, a little nervous, and although I didn't really fancy him I had a lovely evening. 

He picked me up in a cab, held doors open and paid for everything. 

There were a few hiccups, he mentioned his ex in passing a few times, told me some things about his past I'd rather not know, and kept mentioning how skint  he was (sure way to make me feel awkward when the bill arrived) but to be honest because I wasn't that into him I was just enjoying the free dinner and cocktails. 

He want's to go out again, and has suggested some nice places so I am tempted to go just because I do like the place he suggested... Would that be leading him on?

Probably. But oh well. 

I also reluctantly downloaded Tinder after my friend convinced me, I'm not into casual hook-up's or one night stands so was a bit apprehensive as I have heard a few stories and assume that's all people go on there for... But I would say it's a huge confidence boost.

I have been talking to a few guys that seem 'decent' and have even swapped numbers with one. 

After so much upset the last year, I think its time I got back out there, even if it just to be wined and dined. 

As my younger, prettier and sometimes wiser sister told me 'At your age, you shouldn't waste time or settle for anyone, unless you can see yourself marrying them'

So I can now say I am officially dating until I find the one.... Because I'm not going to find him sitting at home watching Eastender's now am I? 

I Have A Date... A REAL LIFE DATE.

How can so much change within the space of a week?

I admit, I spent most of the day last Thursday crying when my worse fear's were confirmed that the lobster was seeing a married girl. Crying on the train to work, crying at my desk, crying on my lunch break. I didn't even pretend to hide it in the end. 

However, I feel it was for the best, I needed to cry the remainder of my feelings for him out, as by Friday I was a changed woman (I am not bi-polar. I swear) and ready to move on. 

Whilst out for city drinks Friday my friend convinced me to get Tinder, I have previously been dead against it but after playing around with it and getting quite a few matches, I'll say it is a confidence booster more than anything else. The conversation on there has been pretty dry. But whilst out, I began to look at men a little differently, as in checking them out which is so not me! 

Moving on to Saturday, I had my Godson's birthday and come early evening when the kids had all left / gone to bed the adults can begin to get tipsy and not get judged.

Some of us moved on the pub where my good friend informed me his friend likes me... I don't take compliments well and was unsure but with a little peer pressure from my friends we spoke throughout the night, swapped numbers and have been texting.... and the best bit.

I HAVE A DATE FRIDAY NIGHT. 

So far I have only heard good things about him, he seems nice, texts everyday and sends the first text and wants to take me out. The Lobster never done anything nice for me.... (I think it will be a while till I stop making comparisons) 

I am not sure if I really fancy him yet, but I am giving it a chance, which I never normally do. 

I am officially on my way to moving on and feeling positive about it. 

Now.... What to wear???? 

The Single Girl's Guide to Surviving Valentines Day

Ah, the dreaded V Day is finally here! 

Having never had a serious boyfriend (Yes I know... 25 and I've NEVER had a serious boyfriend) I admit it's a not a day that I look forward to, especially with the sickening Facebook posts, a stream of flowers being delivered at work. And lets be honest, I think I would be sick if anyone ever bought me a cuddly toy saying 'I love you' on it. 

I believe that it is marketing that has made this the day to make us feel lonely... when the fact is, I don't feel any more lonely than I do any other day. 

Waking up this morning the only thing I wanted to spend the day with was my bed. The Lobster crossed my mind as he does every other day, but then he never got me anything for Valentine's Day anyway so I'm not missing out on anything there.  

I am grateful that I have all the things I need in life, great friends, a good family, alcohol and cats. Who needs a man?? 

I had offers to drink with my friends tonight, but its wet, cold, skint, Im lazy and much happier in my PJ's with a Domino's watching TV. 

However, tomorrow I will be going out and getting shit faced. 

Happy Valentines Day Ladies 

xoxoxo 

Lessons from the Lodger

Recently we have had one of my Mother's relatives move into the spare room (Yes, I do still live at home with my parents at the age of 25. The shame) 

Well... I thought my love life was bad, but she makes me feel better about myself. 

In her 50's she spends the majority of her spare time on dating sites, chasing exes and starting new hobbies that never fully develop. 

All the men she meets are creeps, you can tell from the offset, although her crazy ways do scare them off (I admit I can be obsessive but if it's a family trait that gets worse with age then god.help.me) 

They're all after one thing. She recently met up with one of her exes and they had sex. In a field. When she came home with muddy boots I told her theres a word for that... Dogging. 

'He may look like an old git, but he makes up for it in other ways. He has more stamina than an 18 year old boy' she informs me. 

This evening I came home to a note saying she has gone to visit another ex for the weekend. He don't want to know her one minute but as soon as he clicks his fingers she goes running. 

I feel like the more mature adult in the situation. When I was upset recently she was very sympathetic but it's the type of advice I would take with a pinch of salt.

If you can't learn from your own mistakes, at least learn from other peoples.