One Week Post Lobster

I am going to try to keep this blog anonymous as much as possible so I'll explain who the 'Lobster' is...

The Lobster is the one you always keep going back to (Phoebe Buffay in 'Friends' once used the expression referring to  to Ross and Rachel's relationship). 

Anyhow, the situation with my lobster has been going on for about five years. 

Five years where he has never wanted to commit, five years of your parents asking you whats going on and not being able to explain, five years of never knowing where you stand, five years without so much as a birthday card or Christmas present. Five years of give, give, give with little in return. 

To make things more awkward, lobster is in my friendship group which is why it has probably gone on so long. 

I / we have said we are going to stop this ridiculous situation on numerous occasions, but we always seem to end up back in bed together. And after five years I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that I have allowed myself to be treated in such a way and let it happen time and time again. 

Dont get me wrong, I have a lot of love for the Lobster, but it is never going to be how I want or have daydreamed about. 

Even my friends don't take me seriously anymore when I tell them I'm putting a stop to it. 

Time for me to get out there... I want to meet husband material soon. 

Mid-twenties... Clocks ticking and all that. 

I have only cried once or twice this week which is good going for me. 

Let's see how long I can go without falling back in the Lobsters claws this time.