Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Perfect Opportunity... But I'll Pass Thanks.

On Saturday evening I went out for dinner and drinks with an old school friend of mine who recently ended her 7 year relationship and engagement and our wonderful gay friend and his lovely boyfriend. 
After a lovely dinner and a few civilised drinks, the lovers decided to go home for an early night so us single girls were left to our own devices.... So we went to the club. 
After a few cringey chat up lines such as "Look at my new 4grand watch.... I bought a new Range Rover today" (#OnlyInEssex) My response was to laugh, tell him to Fuck Off and get really drunk in able to cope with the sort of night it was going to be. 
Anyhow, my friend had her eye on someone so we made our way over. 
Cut a long story short, we ended up going back to a random boys mansion, with heated pools, saunas and steam room, however I wasn't impressed that we wasn't even offered a cup of tea or even an alcoholic beverage for that matter. What sort of after party was this?!? 
So we headed back to my friends with her beau and his friend in tow. After getting in and having and a cup of tea finally... It was 5:30 by now. It was obvious my friend was hitting it off with her guy so I was left awkwardly with the annoying friend. 
Embarrassingly I was sick (as usual) before bed and all I wanted to do was sleep. 
So when this guy starts hugging me tightly and trying to spoon me and rub my body I politely (abruptly) told him... 'STOP THAT. Get off me please'

I was in bed with a guy for the first time in  9 months. It was my perfect opportunity to get under someone to get over someone, to loose my born again virginity but I just was not feeling it at all. Plus he was 5 years my junior... I probably would have scared the poor boy to death. 
I think you know when you know, therefore I am going to wait for when I know it's right and not just sleep with someone for the sake of it. 

In the meantime I better top up on batteries. Ha. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Consequences of being a Party Girl

I have had such a fun bank holiday weekend but I am well and truly feeling the effects of it today.
Since the road to recovery of my broken heart began I have been enjoying going out and getting drunk with my girls a lot more, but it's not just the physical effects that are catching up on me... The hangovers, the bloating, sickness, and break outs, it's also been an eye opener. 

This weekend I was out with my guy and girl friends... (Lobster who was in attendance and we did a fabulous job of ignoring each other, although there were a few awkward moments when we caught eye contact. I had a fab night singing and dancing while he was left looking awkward standing on his own on many occasions throughout the night. HA) 

Anyhow, when it came to the end of the night one of the guys who has a girlfriend and a new born baby begins flirting of sorts with a friend of a friend. 
She's single and fully allowed to choose who she sleeps with. But what annoyed me is the lengths this guy was going to to cover his lieing cheating arse. 

Telling her a fake name, whilst telling me to 'shut up' and basically getting his story straight with me that if anyone asks me I should say that he was never at the the afterparty we went back to... Almost like blackmail as I know he's not a very nice person and he would probably turn nasty if I ever breathed a word. 
Although it's totally wrong, it's not my business to say anything. I don't know the girlfriend in question well enough to get involved, and she probably wouldn't believe me anyway. If she was one of my good friends I wouldn't hesitate to expose him. 
The guys at the after party were actually scared of me calling me a 'Dangerous Girl' as 'I know too much'. 
The fact is, I am a nice girl, a real girls girl and I get on with most people, boys and girls. I'm friends with a lot of the boys but I've never slept with any of them (apart from the Lobster and we all know how that turned out). 

What makes it worse, is this guy is all over social media stating how much he loves his girlfriend and posting adorable photos of his baby, which I don't doubt for a second so why the hell cheat?! 

So as much as I love being a party girl, it has done very little to restore my faith in men... In fact I think I have completely lost it.
However, it is a lesson noted for when I do settle down. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Dates and Relapses

So a few weeks ago whilst out with the girls I got chatting to someone, he was a cool guy with interesting conversation and after a little kiss at the end of the night we swapped numbers. 
I wasn't too keen but under a lot of peer pressure from my friends to get out there I thought I'd give it a go. 

So I did, I went on a date last Monday. Just a few drinks in a cocktail bar. It wasn't bad but it wasn't amazing either. Conversation flowed, he didn't seem a total douche but just not for me. I didn't fancy him and I didn't like what he was wearing. That's usually enough for me. I could go out with him again but surely I would just be wasting my time and his? 
You could say I'm not giving myself or him a chance but I feel like when I know, I know. 
After getting tipsy on a few cocktails I was even telling him awful embarrassing stories to put him off. It obviously didn't work, so now I'm in that awkward cooling off period, avoiding whattsapp and texting back short replies in the hope he will pick up these subtle hints. 

I also feel like I've given Amy Winehouse (god bless her soul) a run for her money in partying the last two weeks so was looking forward to a chilled weekend this weekend. However, whenever I have too much time on my hands the same thing happens... I think too much and that can be dangerous. 
Yesterday I logged onto Facebook and although we are not 'friends' anymore (I deleted him at Christmas) I was looking at old photos of the Lobster and I together. I was looking at them fondly, he was such a big part of my life and we had so much fun together... Then reality hits and it feels a bit shit. 
Now I am shedding a tear. Only a little one, the first tear that's fallen since I saw him with married girl last week. 

Screw this, I'm going for a run and to do my better butt workout. Xoxoxo 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Act like a Lady, Think like a Man.

'These Hoes Ain't Loyal' 

This Chris Brown song is becoming a bit of an anthem for my girls. 
As mentioned in a previous post, we all seem to be having a mid-20's life crisis. 

There are those that have had enough of their long term relationships and then the ones that have been played and treated like shit by men in the past that we've just had enough. (Don't loose faith a random guy told me the other day... Whilst telling me he loves receiving oral sex from other women why his girlfriends at home. Case Rested) 
We're playing the field and having fun. 
 (We are definitely not 'hoes' or 'sluts' in fact quite the opposite. My knickers are literally glued on these days) 

It's almost like we are discovering ourselves, finding out who we are and what we like and not settling for anything less. 
Acting like a lady but thinking like a man.... Being a player and not getting played. Playing men at their own game.  
As Whitney Houston once sung "I learned from the best, I learnt from you" 

So next time you see us singing a dancing along, don't get it twisted. We are not hoes. We are strong smart women, and if you think you can rise to the challenge and prove our thoughts of 'all men are the same' then approach us with your A-Game. 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Officially Moved On

I've done it... I have actually gone and done it. No, not sex. But I have officially moved on. 

My worse fear for the last few months has been knowing that I will run into the Lobster at some point. It was bound to happen, we share the same best friends. My fear was that I would see him and wouldn't be able to control my emotions, the anger, hurt, pain and upset would all explode into some mighty firework. 

After therapy and self healing, I am now the happiest I have been in years. I was scared that if I saw him he would take this away and I'd be back to square one.  

Anyhow. Whilst out with friends Sunday, chatting away when my friends face dropped 'OMG... He's here! OMG she's here too... He's bought married girl out with him' 
Immediately we headed to the bar, keeping my back to them the whole time. 

And the weird thing about it... I felt absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. This still freaks me out a bit, I keep thinking I'm going to have some emotional break down but I honestly think I am over him. 

Now I'm going to sound a right bitch here, I know it's not the girls fault (even if I do call her the married whore now and then) and I'm a great believer that women should stick together... BUT she's a massive downgrade from me, which does make me feel a bit better about the situation. 
He was always punching above his weight with me anyway.
It felt great to have his friends telling me how good I looked and twirling me around the dance floor infront of him. 

Safe to say I owned the situation whilst keeping it classy and dignified. 

Have fun waiting for your girlfriends divorce to come through while I'm being taken out on dates with rich Greek guy... Blog post on him to follow. xoxoxo