"Don't drink wine, you only turn it into tears" someone once said.... Or in my case any form of Alcohol.
So, I was out enjoying a few cocktails with the girls for one of their Birthdays last night, when we get a telephone call from our male friends saying they would like to come meet us. Mutual friends of The Lobster. Instantly I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach... is there just no escaping him?
This fear soon turned to anger when over the telephone they asked my friend that if I can forgive him, The Lobster will come too.
Thankfully my friend had my back and told him outright NO!
I can't believe the audacity of him, he knows he has done wrong but is still not man enough to apologise to me.
As the drinks continued to flow so did the conversation... about him unfortunately. The drunken chats led to me in tears having a break down in the toilet. One of my good male friends (and a friend of his too) said 'Just admit it, you loved him didn't you'.
It's something I have always denied, I would say it is more of an infatuation, but the fact that I am still hurting, that I cry at least 3 times a week, and can't get over it, then maybe I did love him in my own way.
I don't think his friends understood why I was so angry and hurt, so I told them about the messages on Christmas Eve, and even they were shocked with his very best friend saying 'I've got the hump with him for how much he has upset you' which felt very sweet.
I also thought I would throw in the fact that there were several occasions when he would cum in his pants whilst we was kissing... I mean I know I'm good, but really? Ultimate betrayal to embarrass him but I don't care.
Back to the important issue.... How am I going to get over this? Yes, I am upset that he has his new silly little married girlfriend but the issue is still there has no been apology.
I am going to give up waiting for an apology that will never come... If he can say things like that, he was never my friend to begin with.
It all comes down to remembering your worth and praying that karma really is a bitch.
Any self help tips out there on how to get over someone? Please send.